Literally.surrounded in a fog of ashes. small flakes float in the air. i see the reflections as they shimmer in the light. as if exhausted, i scrape away at someones failed attempt to collect insurance money. the previous owner blamed it on the homeless. but as i crawl through a slanted crawlspace in between the ceiling and the roof. i sort through debris of shoes and robes. few cans.
did they charge a homeless man rent to stay in the space between floors. was he a midget in love who built a special floor for his wife like being john malkovich.
this fish head skull might be a clue into the past.
however im exhausted. i dont believe this to have been an accident from the previous owner. He was shady. the product which i recieved was not what i paid for. but as i crawl further and further into my ashy cradle, i try to look on the bright side; but they float into my eyes.
i think about the bright side. i look away to keep the ashes out of my eyes as they float from the heavens.
im not stressed anymore. we know that the baby is a girl, so all going well. i dont need to continue reproducing. The boys will have a good direction for their rough and tough nature. and my wife will be happy. so i wont be rubbing my eyes out of stress.
and im self employed. i have the time to do this. it isnt the busy season for moving or tattooing. so i have nothing else to do. plus todd wants to get to work.
his studies as a philosopher are not lucrative. even if he does get a degree with all straight A's. will he get a job teaching philosophy? i feel bad because he drove all the way out to find me behind schedule. ive never wanted to do this project. and neither does he. he jumps at the opportunity to leave. although he pauses to read the inspirational geek grafitti, acknowledging at he isnt inspired to work due to the slacker era motivational posters encouraging occupation rather than.........having an occupation.
so i crawl alone. i think about the events that i missed because i have the markings of an adult. i would have shut it down after a couple of hours. that isnt true. i would have let it go for five or six hours. but never 12 hours.